Endrance x Haseo : My soul is yours
by SpanishTomatoBread
Summary: After being defeated by Haseo in the arena, Endrance sees his life changing, his emotions evolving. Little by little, he makes his way towards Haseo's heart... (New chapters on the way, M content coming but nothing extreme :) )
1. -1-

It was a peaceful morning, Kaoru was slowly opening his eyes as the light was lightly appearing through the shutters.

He had been thinking all the night but his thoughts were still haunting him.

_Haseo_.

He had noticed how important he had become to him, since he saved him from the boiling emptiness that was crushing him after AIDA left him all alone.

That was true, Mia was gone now and nothing was going to bring her back. The sense of loss had been poisoning his mind, so much that he had given up on living.

She was gone. No one would come for him, no one needed him, it was what he thought. No one had ever reach for him in hard times so Kaoru expected things to remain the same.

But no.

"**_Endrance, I need you._**"

He had dreamed of these words so many times in his life, that day he felt like he was almost not ready to receive this wonderful present.

The warmth grew stronger in his chest as he recalled Haseo's voice.

That day, Haseo saved him. He could not really explain how important these words had been, it was like his soul was sparkling and in the mirror of his bedroom, he had discovered a new expression on his face, one he had never seen before.

He did not really react on the moment, that was right. Of course, Kaoru needed time to truly understand what was happening, that a new way was appearing before him, that he had finally a chance to change his life and become someone else.

He had to recognize, he arrived a bit late, but hopefully soon enough to support Haseo in the arena and save the situation.

Haseo's gratefulness. It felt incredibly good.

As Endrance, he had grown extremely powerful, that was a well known fact in The World. But it had been a very long time since he last lended his strength to someone.

Little by little, he had discovered how picky was Haseo, how hard it was to get closer to him and to catch his attention. Indeed, being needed by this man was making him feel special.

Kaoru smiled gently;

"_Haseo...You looked for me after all, right?_"

Day by day, he was getting happier to help him, support him in quests or joining him when they were called to Raven's @Home. He knew about Epitaphs, but he knew it deeply in his heart, he was not really acting by charity but rather for Haseo himself.

Maybe that was a bit selfish, he thought. But after being bullied for years, Kaoru did not feel like he owed anything to this world or to people. He had clearly forgotten how to feel for years and now that light was back, he was truly decided to follow what his heart was whispering to him.


	2. -2-

It had been a while since they were sticking together quite often. Everyday, he was waiting for Haseo's messages.

He was never the one initiating discussions or missions: it was very clear for him, he would answer his needs. He would be the one Haseo can rely on the most, the last one standing by his side in the worst moments, the one that would put his life at risk for him without hesitation.

This last thought had made him realize how deep had grown his feelings for Haseo. He no longer had control over it and no idea of how far it would go. He blushed, deeply embarrassed.

He never really had cared about relationships because his link with people was severed long ago and put to rest for almost a decade. That was scary, very new, embarrassing and exciting. His changes were surprising himself a lot, his cold emptiness was warmed up by Haseo's hot temper. He knew himself as a young man locked in silence and he got surprised to enjoy being along with such boiling person.

He deeply wanted Haseo to look at him.

He wanted Haseo to recognize him, his deeds, his emotions.

Kaoru covered his face with his hands.

"_I want you to look at me... Not just **Endrance**... Also **Kaoru**._"

He was often claiming to his savior how much he cared about him but never really had the opportunity to stand out.

That was how he had crossed the line recently.

He did more than anyone could expect, he even surprised Haseo.

Sakaki, one of the leaders of Moon Tree, had organized a PK tournament mainly targeting Haseo and made to destroy him. Kaoru was not speaking that much usually but of course he was always listening. Sakaki was powerful and well organized, acting as a group to bring him down was impossible.

So it came to his mind: pretend to betray his friends and stab Sakaki in the back when he was expecting it the least. It worked. Incredibly well.

Haseo's disappointed face had hurt him a lot when he first revealed his fake betrayal but he knew that was necessary.

Finally, he was able to save Haseo.

He had noticed the difference since that day; Haseo was coming to him much more often, talking more, relying on him in a way he never did before. He felt it, he had become **special**.

He had been the one who had dared everything, who took risk the most for him.

Haseo was now taking him alone with him for missions, getting closer to him day by day.

From next part, the fiction will really start! :) Needed to set a bit the context so now we can focus on their growing relationship.

I hope you will enjoy!


	3. -3-

**Σ Breg Epona**

Endrance was standing close to Canard's **@Home**, waiting for Haseo to log in.

His mind was feeling busy lately, crowded with fragments of memories. His days were looking like that now: waiting for him, thinking of him and how to please him.

"_Endrance?_"

The message had suddenly popped up on the screen.

E: Haseo... I was waiting for you.

H: So... You have nothing else to do right now? Can you come with me today?

E: Anytime... I'm there for you Haseo, call my name and I will always be in front of you in a second.

H: Eh... Thanks. Can you meet me near Canard's @Home?

As he saw Haseo standing close to the building, Endrance started walking towards him.

E: ... Haseo...

He stepped back for a second, definitely surprised, then let out a heavy sigh.

H: En, what are you doing there already? Don't tell me you were waiting here.

E: ... I was.

H: Come on, you can't just stand there all day long. He sounded exasperated for a second but instantly calmed down. But... Thank you, I guess.

E: I will always be there for you... Tell me if I bother you, I'll do as you wish...

Haseo scratched his head, annoyed.

H: You know it's not what I mean.

Endrance had opened up to Haseo since a while, revealing his non existent social life and his endless fear of the outside. His room was his safe zone, the only place he fully trusted. Each step in the street felt like a furious danger so he was avoiding it with all his strength.

E: I'm sorry, Haseo. I have a lot to improve yet.

H: It's alright. I'm glad to see you are sticking around us more... Well, at least to me.

E: Because you make me happy.

Haseo shakes his head and blushed.

H: I told you, don't say things like that out of nowhere, that's freaking embarrassing, you know!

E: But it is true... I can't hide.

H: I know, I know... Just not used to that, it's not like people are speaking their minds this way usually. You are a bit strange, you know?

Endrance smiled shyly.

E: Does that make me be special?

H: En!

E: It's okay Haseo. The pink blush on his comrade's cheek satisfied him. Let's go?

Haseo opened the way and rushed to Chaos Gate, disturbed by the words he had just heard.

**Great Scheming Dark Realm**

H: En, why do you always say so embarrassing stuff to me? Others are laughing hard every time.

E: Haseo, can I be honest for a moment?

H: Sure.

E: I've been thinking about it again and again. You are the one who saved me and nothing can erase that. Gazes, rules and silence won't change how I feel, deep down I know this warmth will never fade.

H: En...

E: I don't want anything from you Haseo. Just... Accept my feelings. It's okay as long as I can be close to you and lend you my strength. Being your thing is enough for my heart to be full of joy. I won't run away, I won't let my heart change. My soul is yours, Haseo. Please accept it.

He walked away further in the area, smiling peacefully as he had completely released his honest feelings for the first time.


	4. -4-

Haseo was trying to follow Endrance through the dungeon, lost in his thoughts.

Obviously he had noticed the growing interest of his friend toward him but he did not expect him to have this kind of feeling. Haseo was flattered but also confused; the young man had been more than reliable - decisive - and he truly was grateful for everything he did so far.

At first he thought Endrance was a kind of weirdo, a silent diva who was ignoring the world to follow an unknown path but he had discovered a man much more shy than his fame could have let him imagine. He was fragile but determined, strong but sensitive, charismatic but distant.

Haseo kind of liked that, watching this unconventional guy blossoming by his side. He had revealed his true color a while ago and everyday he was surprised to discover more.

For a long time, Haseo had kept all his troubles to himself. The burden was heavy, he thought, it was something no one would like to carry. But Endrance did not care. No matter how hard was the task, how painful were the decisions, he was ready to embrace the way Haseo would choose for him.

He remembered all the harsh words he was spiting constantly and wondered how someone that _pure_ had chosen him, the Terror of Death. People were almost always offended, sad, possibly were running away from him. Controlling each word that was coming out of his mouth was annoying and yet it was not something he had time to care about. His purpose was greater.

Maybe the Terror of Death was well known for his determination but there were days he just wanted to let go. Haseo was just a human being after all.

Visiting Shino was important, it was the main reason why everything started, but he missed having fun and relaxing around someone.

Silabus or Gaspard would laugh if he was suddenly dropping his guard, Atoli would definitely talk about it to others, Kuhn was consistently running after women and Pi, well, she was an old hag.

Endrance would never judge him and welcome happily new sides of him. Why not, he thought. Maybe sticking to him was not so bad.

"_Can you wait for me?_"

Endrance turned around to face him.

E: Haseo...?

H: Why are you going so fast? We have time today.

E: I did not want to embarrass you more than you already were.

He looked in the air and scratched his head, not so sure about how he should react.

H: Ech... About that, it's okay. I don't mind. So be at ease, please.

E: Oh Haseo... Is that true? You really don't mind?

His facial expression suddenly became lighter, happiness overwhelmed him for a second before he regained his composure.

H: I told you... so... Yes it's fine.

E: Haseo... I'm so happy...

A warm smile enlightened his face, striking Haseo for a minute.

H: Hey! Don't stare like that! I'm... rather flattered, okay? But...

E: I wish you could feel my heart right now, the beating is so delicate and passionate...

H: I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!

He rushed to the portal, as red as a human being could possibly be.

"_Haseo... For a moment I saw you smiling..._"

He made his way to the exit, his heart shaking with a new emotion he had yet to understand.


	5. -5-

\--

**Sender:** Endrance

**Subject:** Today

_Haseo... Thank you so much for today. You were so warm today, I could have died happy. It makes me be so glad when you think of me, but that day was special, I hope you feel the same way.__The memory of this smile on your lips, from now it will be my treasure.__I like you, Haseo. _

Kaoru hesitated for a minute, read the message a few times and finally pressed the "send" button.

Haseo was changing, slowly showing different sides. _Maybe I'm the first one seeing this_, he thought.

In a corner of his mind, he was trying to revive each second of this sweet afternoon they had spent.

Kaoru lightly pressed his headset on his chest.

_Oh, Haseo. You looked at me differently today. Why were your eyes so gentle? _

A notification popped up on the screen. He had answered.

**Sender:** Haseo

**Subject: **Re: Today

_Hey Endrance.__I'm glad to hear that. Good to see you enjoyed a bit. Indeed, that was a good day. Spending time with you is getting easier, right.__Can I ask you something? _

Kaoru sat on his chair, staring at the screen, slowly blinking.

He typed, "_Ask me anything you want_", suddenly curious. He was impatiently playing with the pen on his desk, waiting for the answer.

**Sender:** Haseo

**Subject:** Re: Today

_What am I to you?_

He was staring intensely at each word of this short email.

_Oh, Haseo..._

Kaoru closed his eyes for a minute, trying to reach the words that were echoing in his heart.

_Yes, that's it. _

His fingers started typing quickly on the keyboard.

_Haseo,__You are the person who saved me from the depths of loneliness. I was trapped into a world of despair and emptiness... And you led me out of there.__Everyday you give me the strength and the will to live.__Today, you told me I should not simply wait for you to log in. It is simple Haseo: I can't.__I'm scared of removing my headset because it makes me feel like I'm losing my only link to you. I'm scared of being somewhere you are not. I'm scared of never hearing your voice again. I'm scared of you abandoning me...__Everyday I try to deal with this fear, Haseo. You... You make me feel safe...__Sometimes I wonder if I could explore this world with you...__I'm scared out there, you know... But when I'm together with you, I can go anywhere... I just wish... To hold your hand...__This is... How much you mean to me... Haseo... _

**[SEND] **


	6. -6-

Ryo suddenly let out a loud curse.

"Holy shit!"

So it was how Endrance was feeling, what he was truly thinking of him.

He was annoyed in a way he had never experienced before. Of course, he had bonded with Endrance and really enjoyed being around him...

"_But it's a **DUDE**_!!!"

He started hitting his head with his keyboard, completely helpless.

Everyone, in his own way, is dreaming of being accepted by someone special. It is a human thing, being constantly overwhelmed by emotions, sometimes giving up, trying again... There are things that bring us down or make us rise.

Rise, with some words.

Feeling _needed_.

He knew that was exactly what had awaken Endrance. This guy desperately needed someone to wait for him, call his name, in a way what would touch his soul. He had shut his heart for so long that he thought that was impossible...

"_But I did"_, thought Ryo.

He was the one that brought back happiness to this man.

"_That idiot... What kind of taste do you have, huh? I always choose the wrong words, overreact or act bold... And yet you are still there, trusting all of me without a single doubt..._"

That little thing that captivated Ryo was Endrance's faith.

Since he had turned away from his Terror of Death past, everyone had looked down on him, considered him as suspicious or simply refused to believe in him at one point.

He was not completely dumb, just terribly impulsive, so he deeply wanted to be trust and recognized for what he was at heart.

He had been dreaming of that once he had decided to bring peace back to his life, catching someone's attention. Not for his legendary PKK story, not for his strength, not for his hot temper but as a person.

"_And among all the people, it had to be you, En... TSS..._"

Endrance had gave him what he wanted but it still felt awkward. Ryo kind of understood what his friend was wishing for but at this point he had no clue of how he was supposed to react or if he could meet his expectations.

"_What kind of relationsh..._"

All that came to his mind while saying these words was his comrades heavy laughs, Saku's desperate scream Pi's judgmental face and Kuhn's suggestive gaze.

"_Nooooo_..."

He was clearly not ready for that. Not yet.

It was an important matter that needed time to be solved since Endrance was definitely a strong ally and more than that, he had become _precious_.

Ryo could not answer right away, the words were not coming out properly. He got out of his bedroom, had his dinner quickly and decided to deal with this email the day after as he would need the night to meditate the matter.


	7. -7-

_Did I say something wrong, Haseo..? _It had been a few hours since Kaoru had sent the long message to him.

_My chest... It hurts... _

He had decided from the start he would be totally honest with Haseo but this time he had not think of consequences.

_Did I go too far..?__Did I disappoint him..?__Is he going to leave me alone..? _

Anxiety was growing stronger at each breath he was taking.

_Haseo... You would never do that, right..?_

Kaoru left himself fall on his bed, crushed by the weight of his own thoughts.

This is when his mother knocked to the door.

_\- Kaoru..._

_\- I'm bringing your dinner, can I come in..?_

_\- I know you are not sleeping..._

_\- Not now, mom..._

His voice was shaking, betraying his emotions.

_\- Kaoru? Are you okay..?_

_\- Leave me alone... Please..._

He just heard the clicking sound of the tray on the floor and the quick steps getting away from his room.

Kaoru did not want to talk or being comforted by anyone right now.

He wanted Haseo to come back, getting grumpy after seeing him in distress for such a short time without him and then acting clumsy by trying to say something kind.

He loved when Haseo was oddly looking away and struggling to find anything slightly sweet to say. Most of people were finding it ridiculous or even irritating, but for some reason Kaoru thought it was incredibly cute. Because it meant he was trying for him, making sure he was not hurting him by throwing one of his personal raging line out of nowhere.

He sat on his bed, held his knees and silently waited for him to come back.

_I will wait for you until the end of times, Haseo... Because it is you, because our link is eternal..._

He closed his eyes, waiting for the sound of the notification.


	8. -8-

"_Ech... Let's do that I guess..._"

Ryo painfully stretched his back after the agitated night he had to face. Questions were popping in his head one after another, nearly crushing his mind. He did not really expect to have this type of problem in his life until recently and even stranger than that, hesitating.

That was the big deal: was it possible to imagine a romantic relationship with Endrance?

He was finally ready to talk to Endrance about _this_ email. Ryo jumped out of bed, immediately reach for his headset and logged in to **_The World_**.

As soon as Breg Epona appeared around him, he noticed that Endrance was already online.

"_En, come to meet me around Canard's @Home, as usual._"

Haseo used the portal close to Chaos Gate to immediately reach the meeting spot. He was absolutely not surprised to see Endrance standing in front of the stores, where he had always been waiting for him.

As soon as he saw the gray headed guy, he made his way towards him.

_\- Haseo...__\- Waaah, your voice sounds terrible today. Are you okay?_

Endrance was looking at his feet, half tired, half shy.

_\- I... Did not sleep today...__\- Eh?! Did all this preoccupied you that much..?__\- I was waiting for you, Haseo... I just wanted to see you...__\- Were you... Waiting for my answer?_

Haseo was feeling slightly uneasy, thinking that En had been up the whole night thinking of him.

He nodded quietly as an answer.

\- _En... I... I'm sorry for making you wait... _

Haseo scratched his head with embarrassment.

_\- It's alright..._

He smiled gently as he raised his head, noticing how Haseo was annoyed by the situation.

"_Come here._"

He was pointing Canard's @Home to Endrance, letting him know they should have a talk inside.

They both crossed the door of the huge building, ready for the big talk.

But they were immediately interrupted by a loud voice.

"_Haseoooo_!"

Gaspard was happily rushing in their direction, followed by Silabus and Atoli.

"**_Damn_**."

\- _Haseo, good morning! _

Atoli enthusiastically welcomed him before hesitantly staring at Endrance since she had never seen him there before.

\- _Hey.__\- Haseoooo, what is he doing here? _asked Gaspard with a curious glance.

**_Goddamnit, it's really not the moment... _**

Silabus was observing the group before speaking to their comrades.

\- _Well, let's go Gaspard, Atoli!__\- Ehhh? But they arrived just now_, said Gaspard, obviously disappointed.

\- _They are busy now, we can hang out with them later._

He winked at Haseo as he was pushing Gaspard to the door, Atoli was closely following them. She stared interrogatively at them before exiting Canard's @Home.

_I have to thank Silabus later_, he thought.

He faced Endrance, annoyed by the whole situation since he logged in.

_I'm really sorry for all that, En..._

He sighed heavily and looked down.

_It's like... No matter how hard I try to do things right, I always fuck up. I just wanted to talk peacefully about **that** with you, but I ended up making you wait like an idiot and threw you to a horde of curious people. Damn. _

Endrance shaked his head and made a few steps in his direction.

"_It's alright, Haseo..._"

"_No it's not!!! You always have to make the first move! Why do I do that to you, huh? It's not fair, why should you accept it?!_"

Haseo was shouting with all his will when he suddenly felt arms wrapped around him.

"_Because I love you, Haseo..._"


	9. -9-

Haseo was blushing uncontrollably, unable to decide how to react to this sudden embrace.

"_En... I told you thousand times... Not to say things like that out of nowhere..._"

Endrance was slowly cuddling the young man's hair, acting as gentle as possible.

"_But it is the truth, you know... I can't pretend anymore... I can't look at you and pretend these palpitations don't exist... I shiver every time you call my name... These beautiful eyes of yours... I want them to stare at me, only me..._"

He took a deep breathe and kept talking.

_I really can't live without you... I thought over it again and again... There is nothing I can do about it... The only thing I'm sure about is that my feelings will never change...__You might get older, start a new life, date as many girls as you wish, marry one of them... My heart will still belong to you... Each breathe you will take, I will still be there, waiting for you to call my name one more time... I'm here for you, ready to die if you ask me to, I am your sword...__It... It's okay if you don't feel the same way... I'm probably not what you were...expecting... _

He stepped back, bringing his hands to his chest.

_Haseo... You don't have to carry everything alone anymore... Let me help you... Let me be there for you... Please... _

His words had reached their target.

Haseo felt it in his heart, the problem was not Endrance but his own confusion. He had never been against the idea of being in a relationship, the big deal was more that he had never imagined dating a guy. Out of that point, he had pretty much all the qualities he had ever wished in a partner. Determined, loyal, caring, gentle, patient... For sure he knew this guy would follow him in Hell if he asked him to do so.

At that moment, he was realizing that the wall that was separating them was simply made of prejudices and smashing it depended only of him.

_"En. I'm going to be extremely direct right now, okay?"__"I listen to you." _

It was as if his gaze was piercing Endrance with dozens arrows, making him shiver.

_"I don't dislike you. I mean, the time we spend together... You know... It feels good. It's comfortable." _

Endrance nodded anxiously.

"_To be fully honest with you, the thing that is bothering me a bit... It's that you are a dude. That's dumb but I still don't know how to deal with that. It's like... If I close my eyes, there is nothing else...stopping me." _

Endrance blinked in surprise, then softly shook his head.

"_So...that's it..._"

"_Isn't that a problem... For you..?_" asked Haseo, perceptibly troubled.

"_Ah, Haseo... Love is not a matter of genre, I think... You are the one attracting my soul... A genre can't influence this reality... Feelings are there... Feelings are absolute... So no... It doesn't bother me in the slightest way._"

His crush looked around, pensive.

"_I had never seen it this way... But yes... I guess it makes sense, eh. Just... I'm gonna need time._"

"_It's alright, Haseo..._" He smiled cheerfully as he said these words. "_Just... What do you want...to do? About that..?_"

**_Well, Endrance. I see just one way to possibly get over this little detail._****_We need to meet. In real life._**


	10. -10-

Endrance was standing in the hallway, shocked.

"_Haseo... are you serious? Meeting...for real..?" _

_"Yup. It's not a decision I can make through a screen." _

He gasped and stared blankly.

_\- En... It's really scary for you, right?__\- ... Extremely...__\- I know about your situation, I won't judge you on that. _

Endrance desperately made eye contact with him.

_\- And what if... you don't like what you see..? What if it doesn't go so well..?__\- En... listen. _

His eyes teared up as he whispered:

_"What if... You disappear... No... Please... Don't leave me alone..."_

Haseo took a deep breathe and tried to speak as kindly as possible while slowly taking his hands in his own.

_"En. I won't leave you alone. It's not just words I'm telling on the moment, it's a promise. So please, believe in me one more time." _

Endrance pressed his palm gently, as if he was trying to print this fact in his mind.

_"Haseo... How could I turn you down after such words..." _

He nodded shyly, looking at him in the eyes.

_"I know why you stay locked in your room. I know you are lonely. I know you are scared."_

He pressed his hands firmly this time.

_"That's why you must not let it rule your life. It's time to fight your fears. I'll help you tearing apart this fear that poisoned you for so long... I'll stand by your side, just as you did for me... You are strong, En... It's a battle you won't lose. We will come out victorious from this shit. Together."_

His face was telling to Endrance, _"will you follow me?"_

_\- Haseo... He stared, amazed. I... I want to do my best... More than ever... I...__\- You said it, right..? You would like to discover this world together... _

He smiled confidently, sure of his decision.

Endrance chuckled, a warm smile blossoming on his face.

_\- Indeed, I said that... Oh, Haseo... I will follow you... I... I can do it.__\- So it's settled! Let's meet, En! _

That was finally decided: they were going to discover who was behind the screen, who they really were chatting with since all this time.

Since they had finally come to the conclusion they had to meet, it was also time to bring light on who they were.

_\- So... En, huh... What's your name. Your real one, I mean.__\- Oh... Kaoru... My name is Kaoru... _

He seemed to hesitate for a second but he asked as confidently as he could, _"what is yours, Haseo?"__\- I'm Ryou. Nice to meet you again, I guess.__\- Hehe... Ryou..._

He repeated his name as if it was a prayer, engraving it to his mind.

\- _Don't say it this way, it's freakin' awkward. _

He smiled in response, genuinely happy.

_"Ryou... I'm impatient..." _

They talked about distance as well: hopefully it would not be too complicated since Ryou was living in Tokyo and Kaoru was living with his parents in Kanagawa prefecture (which is around 40 kilometers away).

The meeting day was set: it would be the next week.


	11. -11-

**_A bit later that week..._**

Haseo had messaged his friends, asking if they wanted to meet to plan quests together. The idea was to set destinations so they could all get their next equipments when they would level up.

As expected, Endrance was the first one to show up on the meeting spot, around guild shops in Breg Epona. It had been a few days since they had decided to give themselves a chance to discover each other, so they kind of got comfortable around each other since then.

Haseo was facing the main door when Endrance stepped in, walking slowly toward him.

_"Yo, Kaoru."_

A voice came from behind him.

"_Ehhhh? How did you call hiiim?"_

That was Gaspard, staring with irritating curious eyes.

_\- None of your business, _answered coldly Haseo.

-_ Come on, Haseooooo! You know you can tell us everything! _

Pi sighed with contempt.

_\- Pretty obviously, he called him by his name, _she said.

Saku appeared almost instantly between them.

\- _EHHHH? Master En's name is Kaoru...? Why did HE know before I do, huh?!__\- Actually it's rather a good question_, said teasingly Kuhn. _Things happened in our backs, Haseo? _

Atoli seemed to want to say something but for some reasons, she remained silent, probably to avoid troubles.

Haseo just wanted to put an end to this mess, anger was growing in his chest.

Endrance stood between them and said quietly:

_"Because we are friends..."_

_\- Eeeeh?_

Gaspard tilted his head.

-_ We are good friends... So... We call each other by our names..._ Endrance looked away and added, _is there anything strange with that...? _

\- _Even if it is so, we are all friends too... Right, Haseo...? Why can he know your name and not us...?_ said Atoli, looking a bit sad.

Haseo had more than enough of that, he decided to put an end to the discussion.

_"Because he's not making me lose my shit all the time, at least!" _

He walked away, pissed off by all the these questions and curious stares. It was his matter, he still had to think about it and more than everything, he didn't want anyone to get involved or to know.

The only ones who followed him were Endrance and Silabus.

-_ Haseo..._ whispered Endrance to let him know they were here.

He turned around and faced them, clearly angry.

\- _Haseo... I don't know what is happening but forgive them, you know how clumsy they are..._ said kindly Silabus, worried about him.

\- _It's none of their freakin' business, why do they put their gigantic noses where they should not?!! _

-_ Are you embarrassed, Haseo...?_ asked quietly Endrance.

He did not answer, but his silence did for him.

\- _Oh...You don't want them to laugh at you, Haseo? _said Silabus.

_\- Hell no! I...__\- What is happening? I can try to help you...__\- No thanks Silabus, I don't need a...__\- Haseo... _

Endrance made a sign to him, trying to tell him it might be actually helpful.

_\- But... Tsss... Ahem... _

It just did not come out of his mouth. He could not explain. He stared desperatly at Endrance, seeking help. He nodded and looked at Silabus.

\- _Haseo and I... We are deeply connected... His soul has always been calling me and now that we are together, I'm living an endless bliss... So...__\- KAORU..._

Haseo was close to log out, embarrassed by En's speech.

\- _So... We decided to meet... This weekend... _

Silabus instantly looked brighter than ever.

-_ Ohhh is that so? It's amazing Haseo, you found someone you are comfortable with!__"Sometimes, huh..._" whispered Haseo to himself.

\- _Haseo is shy... _murmured Endrance.

\- _Yeah right?_ said cheerfully Silabus. _He's acting tough all the time to hide his feelings. Everyone thinks he is grumpy just because they don't understand that it is how he shows how much he cares.__\- Can you both stop talking about me as if I was not here? _

Silabus ignored this statement and kept talking.

\- _Oh, you said you are close right? How close am I supposed to understand...?_ asked respectfully Silabus.

-_ THERE IS NOTHING-..._

_\- ...Yet... _said Endrance, smiling peacefully.

\- _I see, ehhh! That's why you are going to meet, right? A kind of test I guess?__\- YES. ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW? _

Haseo was talking loudly, staring blankly as if his soul and his dignity were gone.

Silabus chuckled and told him:

_"Well, I guess I understand the situation now. I will do my best to deal with the others, okay?"__"Thanks dude..." _

He nodded happily and walked away, leaving Ryou and Kaoru alone.

_"Let's do our best, Ryou..."_, whispered happilly Endrance.

_"That will be alright." _He patted gently En's shoulder and smiled in a goofy way.

Even if it was awkward for them, they would be fine as long as they support each other.


	12. -12-

That was finally the day.

Kaoru was lying on his bed, wondering if he was still asleep or if it was really happening. After all these doubts, hopes and struggles, he was finally going to see Haseo.

He blushed and whispered to himself, "_ah, you have to call him Ryou now"._.. He had never met with another player before but the thing he was definitely sure about is that calling him by his ID would make things weird very fast. " _Act normal, act normal..." _

Anxiety started growing inside of him: of course it was natural, he wanted to attract him, at least a bit. Kaoru was very scared of acting odd and making Ryou feel awkward.

He stood up and made his way toward his closet: time to choose clothes.

Gazing from the top to the bottom, from the left to the right, Kaoru was analyzing the situation.

_"I have nothing especially beautiful..._", he thought.

He picked his usual basics, the clothes in which he could hide: a black T-shirt and a gray sweater, both too large for him and a pair of jeans.

He was finishing getting dressed when his cellphone started ringing.

_\- Yo, Kaoru.__\- Hase-...Ryou... Hello.__" Ech... I did it"_, he thought.

\- _Are you okay? You can call me by my name, you know.__\- I know... I'm sorry, Ryou. I'm a bit confused sometimes. _

Ryou sighed lightly and said:

_\- Don't worry too much, okay? It's supposed to be a good time so... chill.__\- I will do my best... But it is...more complicated than I thought...__\- Listen, you stayed in your hole for a while but enough of that, now. I'm not going to eat you or I don't know what, you know? _

He added after a short silence, in a strangely warm way:

"_I want to know you, Kaoru..." _

His heart started pounding madly, leaving him speechless.

_\- Eh? Kaoru?__\- Ah...__\- Ah. I'm sorry. That was a bit...__\- No, no... That just... made me so happy, Ryou... _

Ryou grumbled shyly, embarrassed by his own reaction.

-_ Well, just wanted to tell you, my train is going to leave soon. I'll be here in around one hour.__\- Is it really okay for you...? It's a bit far...__\- Meh, it's alright dude. It's the weekend and for once that your parents are not here, it could not be better. So rest a bit and wait for me. _

Kaoru smiled and whispered warmly, _"thank you for letting me know... I wait for you, Ryou..." _

They finished the call.

Ryou was coming out of the train after finally reaching Kanagawa.

He took his phone from his pocket to check the address one more time.

"_Kaoru_..."

That was the big mystery at the moment: what kind of person was he in real life? How was he looking like? Was he as delicate as he was online?

Well, his personality would not change but for sure, Ryou was very lost about the physical matter. He knew he liked what Kaoru was, his kindness toward him, his clumsy side and the fact he looked out of the world. That was refreshing, in a way. But the thing Ryou was worried about was not to be able to go through that fact: Kaoru was a guy.

A part of him was thinking there was no way he would be attracted to a man: he wanted someone he could take care of, a bit fragile in a way, a delicate physical appearance. Somehow, something that would be feminine.

_"Well, standing in the middle of the station is not going to turn him into a woman by magic so I'd better go, huh." _

His steps were fast and yet he was super confused: Ryou did not know if he was looking forward or if he was extremely worried.

He was lost in his thoughts when he arrived: finally, he was standing in front of the house.

Ryou checked the name on the door: **_ICHINOSE._** No doubt, that was the right place.


	13. -13-

Ryou slowly brought his hand closer to the door and pressed the button of the doorbell. He felt slightly scared by how much power had such a small button to influence his whole existance.

"_Come on, it's just a fucking door. He's waiting for me in there and if he sees me panicking, he's going to shit himself."_

He rang painfully.

Ryou waited behind the door for a moment until he heard light footsteps, very discret. No doubt, that sounded like him.

Kaoru opened the door just a little bit and just one eye could barely appear.

_"Ryou...?"_

His voice was shaking and yet Ryou could feel how much the poor guy was worried.

_"Yes, it's me." _

Kaoru opened slightly more and his eye was staring deeply.

-_ Oh...__\- Hm? What's wrong?__\- So... That's you... _

He noticed joy was taking over fear at that moment.

_\- Obviously. Yes. _

He looked away, a bit embarrassed to be the center of his attention.

_\- Do I...make you feel ill at ease...?__\- It's alright Kaoru. I understand. _

He looked up and stared at him, whispering impatiently: "I'm curious too..."

Kaoru gulped painfully, stressed as much as he could ever be.

_\- Ah, take your time.__"What if he collapse, huh..." _, he thought.

_\- I... I have go do it... _

He took a deep breathe.

_"Ryou... I open now, okay...?" _

He did.

But of course he carefully stayed hidden behind the door as Ryou was coming inside. He could not help but laugh, watching him holding this poor door as if he was clinging to his life.

_\- Kaoru. You are not going to spend the whole day behind it. _

It was pitch black inside since Kaoru was not so used to turn on the lights.

_\- I wish I could... _

He giggled softly before slowly shutting the door.

Ryou could see him a bit more now; he was a pretty tall guy, much taller than him.

_\- Ah, Kaoru. Can you turn on the light?__\- I'm sorry...No...problem... _

That's what he was saying but his voice meant the opposite. Still, he gathered all his courage and pressed the button.

The lights turned on and Ryou got extremely surprised.

He was now facing Kaoru, long and thin, definitely not a massive guy. His face left him speechless: his skin was fair, his facial features delicate and looked incredibly soft, his hair was long and of a very light brown color. For sure, it was far from being disappointing after seeing how was his avatar in The World.

Kaoru felt embarrassed like he had never been before: the man he cherished more than everything, to who he had swear his eternal love was looking at him.

_\- So...this is what I am..._

More than everything, he wanted to hear is voice and to be comforted.

_\- Ah..._

Kaoru closed his eyes, exhausted mentally by all these efforts.

Ryou shyly walked toward him.

_\- Kaoru... I'm so sorry, I make you feel bad..._

He shook his head in response and managed to look at him.

_\- No... I'm the one who should be sorry for not being normal..._

Ryou whispered to him, his cheeks slightly turning red:

_" You have...no reason to be scared...There is nothing to hide in you..."_

As he said that, he was observing his face, confused by something he could not understand yet.

"_Of course I'm scared... I don't want to lose you..." _

Kaoru could see Ryou slightly raising his hand toward him, without daring to touch him. He noticed his eyes staring and he took it back but Kaoru gently took his hand and put it on his chest: his heart was beating madly, ready to explode.

_"Oh... Kaoru..."__"I told you, Ryou... I love you... So yes, I'm scared to see you walking away... I'm scared to watch things go back to what they were... a life... without you..." _

He pressed his hand firmly.

_"I could not go on... I was falling more and more deeply each day... this is when you taught me that the power to change is in my hands... So..." _

Kaoru took a deep breathe watched Ryou right in the eyes.

_"So look at me... Look at me as I break my chains... See all I am today and everything I could be tomorrow..."_

Ryou abruptly removed his hand to embrace Kaoru with all his strength.

_"You went so far, Kaoru..." _

He was nervous but still, he could feel he was smiling.

_"Do you...notice...?" _

Kaoru put his head against his, feeling his smell, his warmth, his breathe, engraving all that in his mind.

_"I notice, now... I really... like a lot this Kaoru..." _

He rubbed gently his back as he said these words, cheering up the poor man.

_"Ryou... Does **it**... still bother you...?" _

Surprised, he raised his head and watched head to toes, touching carefully his chest, his belly, his hips.

_"Your clothes are freakin' huge, you know?" _

_"Ah, yes... My mother says I don't eat enough." _

He was looking at each of Ryou's movements, worried, since he seemed to be making his final decision.

_"Ryou...?"__"Hmm."__"Are you...okay...?" _

He sighed heavily, looking lost.

_"I thought... How can I explain..."__"I thought it would make a bigger difference."__"A bigger difference? with...?"_

_"Compared to a girl..." _

He gently touched Kaoru's hand, pensive.

_"Your skin... I would have never imagined it is so soft... Your face... Your body... it is..." _

He could not finish his own sentences, his thought were going much faster than his voice.

At that moment, Kaoru understood what was going on.

_"It is what, Ryou...?" _

His voice was filled with warmth and gentleness.

Ryou was trying to look at him in the eyes, in vain. He started panicking, losing his composure and his self control.

_"Are you scared...?"_ said kindly Kaoru while rubbing his hand.

_"I... I don't know what's happening..." _

Kaoru's smile grew radiant, shining in a way he had never seen.

_"You don't know... but I do..." _

He delicately embraced him and pressed his lips on his in a soft kiss.


End file.
